Night Shifts with the Miami Doc Page 15

  “Thank goodness,” she muttered, reading the message that the kidney was viable and the surgery was underway.

  Get some sleep.

  His order made her shake her head, both because he knew her so well, and because he wouldn’t follow his own advice. No doubt he’d stay at the hospital until he knew the outcome of the operation, even though he wasn’t actually in the OR.

  But somehow, probably from a mixture of relief and exhaustion, Regina actually did fall asleep, so deeply that when her alarm went off, it was startling.

  She rushed through her morning routine, getting to work early and going straight to the surgical ICU unit to check in on Rex Knowles. Tim Janowitz was there, examining the still-sedated patient, and she waited outside the room for him to finish and come out.

  “Morning,” he said, looking surprisingly chipper for a man who’d been up most of the night. “The patient’s doing really well. I think we’ll have him out of bed for a little while later.”

  “Good to hear,” Regina replied, knowing that it boded well that Tim wanted Rex ambulatory so soon. Although that wasn’t unusual, if there were any complications during the surgery, getting patients out of bed would be postponed. “I take it everything went well?”

  “Very well. The kidney was in really good condition, and there were no surprises during the operation itself. Now we just have to wait and see how it functions, and hope his body doesn’t reject it.”

  He started walking toward the doctors’ lounge on the ICU floor, and Regina walked with him. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask where Mateo was, but she restrained herself.

  “Pat Knowles has gone home?” she asked instead.

  “Yes. I sent her home, telling her we were going to keep her husband under for a while, and she should get some rest.” At the door of the lounge, he added, “Do you have a few minutes? I want to ask you something.”

  “Sure. I came in a little early, so I have time.” He held open the door for her, and she stepped through, saying, “What can I do for you?”

  The lounge was empty, and Tim made a beeline for the coffee machine. “Coffee?”

  “No, I’m good.” She held up her travel mug. “I have some.”

  Once Tim had his filled cup, he waved her to a seat and sat at the table across from her. He looked serious, and Regina’s curiosity was piqued.

  “So, what’s up?”

  “I wanted to ask you about Mateo.”

  Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach dropped, but she kept her expression as neutral as she could, even as her brain whirred. Was Tim asking in a professional capacity, or a personal one? Had Welk’s nasty comments and speculation reached even a surgeon who didn’t work at the hospital but had been brought in for one operation?

  There was only one way to find out.

  “What about him?”

  “This is confidential, okay?” Tim waited until she nodded, before continuing. “I moved down here because I was offered a job at a new hospital being built north of Miami. It’s still under construction, but they offered me a salary, office space and the ability to pretty much freelance until they’re ready for me, because otherwise I’d have extended my contract in Illinois, and not moved.”

  “Okay,” she said, her pulse kicking into high gear. Was this the same hospital Mateo had mentioned? The one in Plantation? Something stopped her from asking. It was better if Tim was allowed to tell the story in his own way, but she wished he would get to the point.

  “One of my jobs is to assemble my own team, for when the hospital opens, and I think Mateo would be a great candidate.”

  Yes!

  Regina took a sip of her coffee to hide the elation she was sure had sparked in her eyes. This was what Mateo had hoped for but hadn’t been sure was achievable, and she was so proud and happy for him that she felt fit to burst.

  “I want your opinion of him, since you’ve been working with him, and I trust your judgment.”

  The elation drained away, leaving her feeling cold and trapped.

  “Are you asking for an official recommendation?” she asked carefully. “Because there are a couple of issues I have with giving one.” When his eyebrows rose, she lifted a hand and added quickly, “Not reservations about Mateo’s capability, but realistically, I’ve only worked with him for the last five weeks. That’s not a long enough time to fully assess someone professionally, especially when they’re in a different department.”

  Tim nodded. “Understood, and no, I don’t need anything in writing, just your observations.”

  “One last thing,” she said, determined to be completely honest. “Mateo is...my friend. So I may be a little biased.”

  To her surprise, Tim just shrugged.

  “Doctors recommend their friends for positions all the time, so I don’t see the big deal.”

  He obviously hadn’t picked up on her hesitation, and had taken “friend” at face value. She probably shouldn’t be surprised at that, or hurt, but she was.

  It seemed just one more indication of how mismatched they were, if people were either disgusted or disbelieving that they could be in a relationship.

  Yet, she had to put that all aside, if it would help Mateo.

  Assuming her business persona, the one that had seen her through all of the hardest parts of her life, she said, “From my observations he’s a dedicated nephrologist, willing to work with other doctors to get to the root of a patient’s disease. He’s not territorial, but will fight for his patients, and isn’t intimidated when people try to bulldoze him. I think his bedside manner is exemplary, too, and his patients seem to trust him.”

  Tim nodded, holding her gaze. “He put together that transplant like a pro, and I know it’s not something he does every day. I’ve had less well-organized surgeries at established transplant hospitals.”

  She didn’t have a useful response for that, so she just nodded, taking another sip of her coffee.

  But the wheels were turning in her head, and her brain ping-ponged between excitement at the opportunity seeming on offer for Mateo, and dread if their affair became public and it came out she’d vouched for him.

  “When will you speak to him about this?” she finally asked. It would give her a better idea of how to handle the information.

  “Sooner, rather than later.” Tim rolled his shoulders, the events of the night probably catching up with him. “The hospital will be operational in about six months, and I need to get my staff in place. I’ll also need to figure out if he has a contract in place here, and whether he can get out of it.” He sighed. “I can’t wait to relinquish the hiring responsibility to the administration, when we’re up and running. I don’t like this part of the job, at all. I’d rather be in the OR, hands-on, helping people.”

  She smiled and pushed back from the table, ready to take her leave.

  “Well, good luck with your new endeavor,” she said, shaking the hand he offered. “And remember my caveats when giving you my answers to your question.”

  Tim smiled and walked her to the door. “I remember you from back in my Charthouse days. You were tough but fair, always scrupulous in how you handled things. You word carries some weight with me.”

  Regina nodded, giving him as much of a smile as she could manage.

  Scrupulous? She didn’t feel that way, at all. In fact, despite her joy for Mateo, she felt completely unscrupulous.

  Not that she hadn’t told the truth about his abilities, from her perspective, but she was in love with him, so how unbiased was she, really?

  As they exited the doctors’ lounge, she saw Morgan Welk further along the corridor, and the way his eyes narrowed. He started toward them as she took her leave of Tim but walked right past her, without even acknowledging her presence.

  “Dr. Janowitz,” she heard him call. “A moment, please.”

  What did Welk
want with Tim?

  Regina had to stop herself from looking back, not wanting to seem concerned, even as her heart rate went up a notch and her stomach clenched.

  She’d taken the coward’s way out by not being completely truthful to Tim, and now there was the added worry about what Welk was up to.

  She had to figure out how to handle the situation.

  If she somehow messed up this opportunity for Mateo, she’d never forgive herself. He’d been so supportive of her goals and ambitions. If she owed him anything, it was reciprocity in that respect.

  What would be best?

  Going back and telling Tim the truth of their relationship?

  Maybe reiterating that her recommendation was strictly unofficial?

  Something else completely?

  This new wrinkle in their relationship threw her into crisis mode.

  She couldn’t be sure what Mateo had been about to say the night before, but if he had been about to make some kind of romantic declaration, she was even more glad he’d been forestalled.

  There were more important things than their feelings at stake. His family. His future.

  Regina wouldn’t let anything destroy or damage what he’d built.

  She was still desperately running through her options when she got to the fourth floor, and had to force herself to fully concentrate on getting ready for rounds.

  Losing herself in work usually centered her thoughts, but it took all her energy to keep her focus. On a break, she saw there was a text from Mateo, saying he’d gone home for a nap but was now back in the hospital, and asking what she wanted to do that night.

  It was Friday night, which meant he didn’t have to work the following day, while she was still on call.

  She already knew what she had to do when she replied to his text, telling him she’d come by his place later, after she got everything squared away at work.

  Putting her phone back into her pocket, she realized her hands were shaking, and she left the cafeteria to go to the ladies’ room and try to pull herself together.

  She’d hoped to keep seeing him until she left, but it was getting too hard to manage her emotions. Now it was easy to put aside all other feelings and concentrate on the fact that his dream of working for a dedicated transplant unit was within his reach.

  She’d make sure nothing stood in his way.

  Especially not her.

  * * *

  Mateo yawned, almost nodding off in his chair as he waited for Regina to arrive. The short nap he’d had earlier hadn’t really revived him, just given him enough energy to get through the rest of his shift and make it home.

  He was grateful that Regina was coming to him this evening, rather than the other way around. She’d messaged to say she’d be a little late, but that was okay. He didn’t mind waiting.

  Regina was worth waiting for.

  And tonight he’d tell her how he felt, and ask her to keep seeing him, even after her time in Miami was over.

  He’d thought it through. At least he’d tried to. But he’d be the first to admit his emotions, his love for her, tended to muddle his thinking. Yet, he was sure they could work something out. It wasn’t optimal, but maybe they could do the long-distance thing for a couple of years, until Serena got fully on her feet.

  Then he’d be willing to move wherever she wanted, just so they could be together.

  It was funny that he would feel that way, considering it meant, once more, giving up what he wanted for the sake of love. Yet, he didn’t resent the thought. His parents’ lives and deaths had taught him the most important things in life weren’t actually things, but people.

  Regina was as important to him as any of his siblings, even though he knew he couldn’t let go of the family reins just yet.

  That sense of having been entrusted with his parents’ wishes hadn’t diminished. Not even after eleven years. That responsibility had to be fully taken care of before he could move on, and he thought Regina would understand that and, hopefully, be patient.

  What they had was too special to throw away.

  But when he opened the door to her, he found her almost unrecognizable, and the sense of being thrown back in time by her distancing smile kept him silent, stilling the urge to take her in his arms.

  And if nothing else, this Regina Montgomery was completely efficient.

  As efficient at breaking his heart as she had been putting her patients at ease, or Morgan Welk in his place.

  She turned and looked at him, her lioness eyes clouded, but direct.

  “I’ve decided it’s best that we don’t see each other socially, for the rest of my time here.”

  Each word was a blow, but he wanted to understand, so he could, just as efficiently, plead his case.

  “Why?”

  It looked as though she were about to shrug, and he was glad when she didn’t. Any sign of nonchalance would have set him off.

  “It’s time to put this behind us and start looking ahead,” she said cryptically. “I have a lot to do, professionally, before I go back, and I don’t need the distraction.”

  Was that what he’d been? A distraction? Nothing more?

  He wanted to ask her, but his pride wouldn’t let the question pass his throat.

  Hell, he could hardly breathe, much less articulate.

  She shifted, one hand coming up slightly from where it hung at her side, and then falling back.

  “I’ve had a great time with you. You know that. And I hope you had fun, too. But I have to start concentrating on my future, and these last few days that I’m here are valuable. I don’t want to waste them.”

  So he’d been both a distraction and, apparently, a waste of her time.

  He felt the first spark of anger but tamped it down. If he allowed his rage to overcome him, he didn’t know what he might say.

  “Okay.” His voice was rough, rusty, passing with painful difficulty through his tight throat. “If that’s what you want.”

  For a moment, a brief hopeful moment, he thought she might change her mind. It was there in her eyes, in the glimpse he got behind the mask she’d donned to speak to him.

  Then it was gone, and she nodded.

  “It is.”

  At least it seemed she knew better than to thank him, or try to initiate some tender parting moment. Instead, she just walked away and let herself out, leaving him there, feeling as though he’d been hit by a truck.

  How long he stood there, staring at the door, he didn’t know. The sound of her vehicle had faded, and the murmur of the television was the backdrop to his numbness.

  Not even the anger, which had so briefly stirred inside, came back to sustain him.

  He was...empty.

  Shell-shocked and dead inside, because the only woman who’d ever touched his heart and soul had just tossed him away like he was a used tissue she no longer needed.

  And he didn’t even have the wherewithal to wonder exactly why.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  YOU CAN DO THIS, REGINA. Make it through the next seven days, before you go home.

  But she wasn’t absolutely sure she could.

  She hurt, even physically, whenever she thought about Mateo. She hoped he was all right. That the shock and hurt she’d seen in his eyes on Friday night had morphed to anger or indifference. Either of those would be preferable to seeing him in pain.

  Or having him look at her with contempt.

  She had enough of that for herself, without him horning in on the act.

  Thinking she’d be safe from seeing him over the weekend, she remembered too late that he’d undoubtedly be in to check on Rex Knowles, and she went to ICU on Saturday morning.

  When she got there, Rex was sitting up. The improvement in his appearance was marked, and wonderful to see.

  “It’s working already,
” he told her with a wide grin. “The kidney is actually working, so they’ve taken me off dialysis. Dr. Janowitz is transferring me out of ICU today, although he wants me to stay in the hospital another night or two.”

  “That’s wonderful,” she told him, even though her stomach twisted. If he was transferred back down to the fourth floor, there would be no avoiding Mateo. All she could do was hope Rex would be sent to one of the other floors instead.

  That was when it dawned on her that, as his nephrologist, of course Mateo would want to check on his progress personally, and before she got a chance to scuttle back to the fourth floor, Mateo walked in.

  Her heart turned over, and it took every ounce of strength to greet him with cool professionalism.

  He replied in kind, his expression frozen, his gaze blank. Then they both looked away, and Regina said goodbye to Rex before beating a hasty retreat. She’d held it all together this far, but she wasn’t sure how strong her composure actually would be under prolonged exposure to the man she loved.

  And she definitely wasn’t strong enough to survive an interrogation, should he put her to one. Hell, just a simple question might break her.

  Which was why she’d avoided calling Cher, the one person she could count on to tell it like it was. Her friend had already pointed out facts Regina didn’t want to think about right now. Instead, she preferred to concentrate on the good she was doing for Mateo, rather than anything else.

  Nothing could convince her that she hadn’t done the right thing. He’d been through too much, given up too much, to have anything more taken away from him. Mateo deserved the world on a string, and everything in it as his own.

  He deserved a woman who could give him everything he could ever need, or want, and that was not her.

  And if she kept reminding herself of that fact, she might feel a bit better.

  Hopefully, Rex would be sent to one of the other floors, but she wasn’t so lucky, and later that afternoon, he was indeed transferred back under her care.

  There was no way to avoid seeing Mateo again, later that afternoon.